


Of Excessive Eights and Online Dates

by monochrainbow (Inksewn)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inksewn/pseuds/monochrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros Nitram's friends are being plucked away like petals off a rose; when Nepeta Leijon introduces him to a potential dating site, what else would he do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Excessive Eights and Online Dates

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Anonymous Tavris Valentines 2013 Exchange for undesired-pageblood on tumblr, to the prompt: 
> 
> "humanstuck au in which tavros and vriska are in a long distance relationship via the internet and meet for the first time"
> 
> and I hope that this is okay, even though I didn't really literally follow the end and it was sort of cliffy. I hope you enjoy anyway!

Picture this: a room so dimly lit that it could easily be mistaken for a cave. From what you can gather, a tumbleweed —no, a duvet— has been crumpled and left on a bed mattress. It lays just as discarded as the cup of empty instant noodles left on the work desk. The only noise to be heard in this room is the tapping of the keys, and it is not even a rapid tapping, but rather, the occasional, hesitant tapping.

In that room sits a young man, the approximate age of sixteen, tapping away at his laptop keyboard. His taupe hair is disheveled and his irises are burdened by the luggage they carry underneath. His elbows dangle low, and even at a glance you can tell that he yearns for slumber, that he tries to suppress such a want.

This young man’s name is TAVROS NITRAM.

Tavros Nitram has spent his entire night up to three in the morning at his computer, the only light source in the room. Using his untouched math book as a wrist rest, his time reserved for sleep had been used for what seemed like endless clicks of ‘PgUp’ and ‘PgDn’.

There were bottomless pesterlogs that he’d shared with his friends, but they were only jigsaw pieces of nostalgia. He’d tried to relive it, but his attempt had crashed and burned, and probably prevented any future trials at such a prominent failure.

apocalypseArisen. Aradia Megido. His childhood best friend.

adiosToreador [AT] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]  at 22:16

  
AT: uHH, hI, aRADIA.  
AT: iS THIS STILL YOUR CHUMHANDLE?  
AA: yes  
AA: tavr0s is y0ur keyb0ard still br0ken  
AT: yES, iT STILL IS.  
AT: mOM HASN'T GOT THE MONEY TO, uH, gET A NEW ONE FOR ME.  
AA: why d0n't y0u just type in all caps then  
AT: iT MAKES IT LOOKS LIKE I'M SHOUTING, wHICH i DON'T WANT.  
AA: 0kay  
AA: what d0 y0u want  
AT: jUST TO, uH, tALK AGAIN,  
AT: fOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.  
AA: tavr0s im busy  
AA: s0rry  
AT: oH, oKAY.  
AT: iT'S FINE.  
AT: a QUESTION, THOUGH.  
AA: what  
AT: iS YOUR KEYBOARD bROKEN TOO?  
AA: yes why  
AT: dO YOU REMEMBER, uM, wHEN YOU USED TO LIKE TO TYPE LIKE THAT?  
AA: yes  
AA: it was childish

apocalypseArisen [AA]ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]  at 22:20

Yes, it was childish.

When he’d spent countless hours rereading conversations featuring Team Charge and their childish antics, he treasured the zeros and the commas and hues of mud and burgundy. He’d just hoped that he could experience it again, but she didn’t even say g00dbye.

The whirr of the laptop’s inner mechanisms replaced the rapping, and Tavros rested under the crumpled duvet, encasing himself in the scent of childish memories.

He closed his eyes. He missed childish.

* * *

 

Sleep? More like “1, 2, Peekaboo”.

Tavros was terribly sick of his alarm clock. He felt his face as he woke up to discover that his eyebags had remained throughout his slumber. He regretted going through such a sad reminiscence the previous night, especially since all it resulted in was tired eyes and emotional sting.

He climbed out of bed and swung back the curtains, letting the light flood in, burning his irises. Clothes were shed before he bathed in the raining water of the shower head, and replaced with clean ones; the usual black t-shirt, this time lit by the ignited text ‘SICK FIRES’, and a pair of khaki hued pants. These were accompanied by some black sneakers. Tavros wasn’t one for fashion variation, so most of his clothing combinations consisted of the sort.

Breakfast, however, was of variation almost all of the time. His mother, after spending a lot of time reading him chapters of Peter Pan and taking care of him during his childhood years, had aspired to become an official wielder of the culinary spatula, and was flipping all the kinds of fruit pancakes and sizzled eggs only for her beloved son to try. Sometimes he was a little too tired to finish all the food she’d give him, but if it was to make his mother happy, it was for the best.

Today, as he sat down at the table, mother presented some blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, a couple slices of toasted bread, some strips of bacon, and a cup of orange juice. With only twenty minutes to go before class started, he didn’t really think that he could finish all that and keep it down.

“Mom, can I just have the toast? I don’t really feel like eating.” Truth.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, uh, I’m kind of full.” Lies.

“Okay, enjoy school then, hon!”

“I will.” More lies. From the look on mother’s face, he was a terrible liar.

He shoved one of the slices into his mouth. With a sprint around the corner, he ran down the hall and opened the door. As he stepped outside, he thought that maybe, just maybe, today would be a little different, as the cool wind blew—

And hit him straight in the face.

He would give anything to go back to bed.

The walk to school was quick; Skaia  was only a few blocks away. While the education was… merely competent, it was convenient for him and his mother, so he found it okay, he guessed. The less work to do, the better, right?

Judging by the lack of roaming students, the assembly of the morning was about to take place. He took a seat between the goth from English and the hipster from shop (or was it the other way around?) and let his daydreams drift and grow along the velvet curtains and wooden podium until a familiar face made his winged dreams singe and cascade.

Lengthy, brown locks on rounded lobes. Creamy skin with rosy cheeks. Small, centered, delicate nose; soft, thin, shiny lips. All encircled a pair of burgundy irises, unusually cold, burgundy irises.

Aradia Megido: Skaia High Student Body President. Her eyes flickered towards the observant male, but they did the same to everybody else in their nervousness. Her voice was crystal clear, but Tavros chose not to listen; it was more lip service concerning activities, more empty congratulations from their empty student queen. Besides, the shell never listened to him anyway. Tavros wallowed in his silent bitterness.

Megido had been a chubby girl in Skaia Elementary. Together with little Nitram, they formed Team Charge, adventurers of the playground, outcasted by most but accepted by each other. In their middle school years, they abandoned the titles of Boy-Skylark and Indiana Megido, but still stayed a team, two sane survivors against a hoard of dolled up, tanned zombies, until she’d been infected. She’d swapped in her costumes for skirts and blouses, her chubbiness for slender grace, her immaturity for a boyfriend named Equius, and their connections for a social life.

She’d moved on, he hadn’t.

He remembered, she didn’t.

Why couldn’t he? Why did he?

Smattering applause snapped him out of the trance; Aradia had stepped off the podium and sat next to her new best friend, his replacement, Sollux Captor, while Principal Crocker took the stand, her ebony hair cascading as unrealistically as it did in the animes (which was the usual), adjusting her glasses and clearing her throat into the microphone.

“Good morning, students.” Mumbles of “good” and “mhmng” rose idly. “I have gathered you all here to address several rumors regarding Gamzee Makara of junior year.”

That got Tavros’s attention.

Gamzee Makara was the closest thing that Tavros had for a best friend since Indiana Megido turned in her hat and whip. He was a lanky boy with a mellow, permanent smile and a painted face. Gamzee had an addictive love-hatred for Insane Clown Posse and hit on Tavros occasionally when in his drunken stupor, but was nonetheless a reliable, stoned friend. He played hooky a lot since the start of junior year, and Tavros was wondering what had become of him for the past few weeks. He craned his neck and listened in to the announcement.

“There have been many claims for the past few weeks about the ‘disappearance’ of Mr. Makara. I will not enumerate all of them, but some of the most absurd ones include alien abduction and ‘witchcraft’.” Several giggles erupt from the audience, but Tavros’s ears were at full attention. “I would like to state that Gamzee Makara has _not_ passed away—“ sighs and curses alike tingled against Tavros’s lobes “—however, he has, as most of you have speculated, been expelled for things which I will not state for the good of his reputation.”

_Murmur murmur, mumble mumble_ ; the crowd does not seem to cease its conversations and exchanges. From what Tavros could pick up, ‘drug usage’ had been the most popular hypothesis for Gamzee’s disappearance, and student speculation had just been proven to be quite accurate.

It didn’t matter how Gamzee Makara got expelled from Skaia High. It just mattered that he was no longer there; his friend had vanished.

As everybody got up and made their way to their respective homerooms, Tavros Nitram realized that his friends were dropping like flies.

* * *

 

Students moved like street kids fighting for rations. Tavros got pushed around a lot, but today they didn’t seem to die down during the entire recess period; people were walking around talking about the very same thing: the expulsion of Gamzee Makara. The very same hipster from shop (“The one with the very obnoxious tuft of purple hair,” Tavros silently noted,) was going around talking about it to former Scene Queen something Peixes, and texting so aggressively that he was doubling his w's and v’s in the process, shoving around anyone in a one foot radius with his pointy elbows. A loudmouthed hall monitor (who Tavros remembered as loudmouthed Karkat from elementary who used to make fun of his and Aradia’s adventures in what they assumed to be was pure jealousy) was issuing offense slips by the stack, and ended up getting them back crumpled and/or ripped. Kanaya Maryam (an old friend from way back when who’d gone off with her lesbian psychoanalysister) and the goth from English (the apparent psychoanalysister) were talking in hushed voices, but Tavros, being near them, could easily hear the words ‘unjust elimination’ and ‘unpublished information’, which he did not want to hear, let alone pry into.

The fastest student in the stagger was little Nepeta Leijon, handing out flyers like her life depended on it. Her ginger hair bounced as she chattered away, distributing the colorful sheets of paper, and if Tavros saw the name ‘Gamzee Makara’ one more time, then he was going to blow a gasket—

“Tav! Come over here, hee hee!” Nepeta had pulled to the side, and was beckoning him to join her. She was holding the stack of advertisement and was preparing to hand one to him. Reluctantly, yet hastily, Tavros cut his way through the ever-moving ocean and joined her, breathless.

“Here,” she squeaked, quickly giving it to him, “I made the purrrrrfect chatsite thanks to Equius and Sollux! They helped me purrrpare and everything! If you could take a pawwwwwwwse in your usual chores and etcetera, could you visit the site for me? Tell me what you think!” She slurred her words a little, but Tavros took no note of it, and read the flyer instead.

 

**_PURRFECT MEWTCHES!_ **

_Are you searching for your PURRFECT match? Do you need a little push? Is your love life a CAT-astrophe?_

_WAIT NO MORE!_

_Go to http://purrfectmewtches.ath to find YOUR purrfect mewtch! There are many people to choose from; OTPs are made in seconds!_

_If you have further inquiries, please contact arseniccatnip@pchum.com OR centaurstesticle@pchum.com OR twinarmageddons@pchum.com. You may also contact the head administrator, ARSENIC-SHIPPER.trollblr.com through inbox! THANKS!_

 

“Uh, Nepeta?” He turned over the paper twice to see if there was anything else, at least a mere footnote, or the advertisement would seem quite meager, “Is this an ad for a matchmaking site?”

“Ooh, not necessarily!” She waggled her finger in her face, grinning like an asylum escapee. “Friendship is still shipping, you know! Just think of it as omegle, except without the gross old guys and less anonymity!”

Although he was tempted by the word ‘friendship’ after his recent epiphany, Tavros wasn’t so sure about that last part. “But what if—“

“Don’t worry, Equius made a set of rules, so it’s all safe!” He wanted to prompt that most gross old guys would click the I Agree button without second thoughts, but Nepeta looked so excited that he brought himself to wallow in apathy once more.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll check it out,” he’d agreed.

The day went pretty quick after that. Why is it that when you dread something, its arrival is sped up?

* * *

 

You are now speaking to 'tipsyGnostalgic'!

  
AT: hI,  
TG: lol u talk funnty  
TG: *finny  
TG: *funhy  
TG: *fuuuuuck it im 2 drink 2 typw

tipsyGnostlagic has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

  


You are now speaking to 'caligulasAquarium'!

  
AT: uH, hELLO.  
CA: 16, male, and a place near you ;)  
AT: oH, uM, i'M NOT INTO THAT,

caligulasAquarium has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

  


You are now speaking to 'MODERATOR: centaursTesticle'!

  
M!CT: D--> I take it that you are following and abiding to the rules of this site  
M!CT: D--> Today I am on patrol so if I catch any straying from the rules I will ban you permanently  
M!CT: D--> You have been warned  
AT: nO OFFENSE, bUT,  
AT: a PATROL IS SORT OF, uH, uSELESS IF YOU TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT AND LABEL YOURSELF FIRST.

MODERATOR: centaursTesticle has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

  


You are now speaking to 'tentacleTherapist'!

  
AT: hELLO.  
TT: Before we progress in this conversation, I would like to ask whether you take interest in wizard fan literature.  
AT: nOT, rEALLY.

tentacleTherapist has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

  


It was three in the morning; an empty cup of instant noodles had been left askew from the trash can and a tangle of blankets had fallen off the bed. A tired, yet determined young male sat at his computer, typing furiously. It was the same situation as the previous night’s, but he wasn’t exactly observant at the moment; or, at least, observant to that particular subject.

He’d had conversations with about fifteen people already. The safe for work and security rules had been practically trampled upon (which contradicted Nepeta’s assurance that the site would be orderly, but Tavros didn’t want to upset her), but, to be fair, the website had only been opened up a few days ago. It was stunning that Nepeta had set up such a prosperous project, even if she had help from Zahhak and Captor, and that she had so many fans prior to it, mainly due to her popular trollblr site. Although Nepeta was known as ‘autistic freak’ between classes, she was loved on the internet. It made Tavros mouth out the words ‘good for you’ every time he thought about it. He also thought about why he continued chatting when the conversation always ended in, “There’s still hope! :33”

To be honest, after yesterday’s revelation, he had gradually warmed up to the idea of finding new people via internet connection, though this was mixed thoroughly with his apprehension of rejection, but he kept his chin up and continued on anyway. He knew now that his optimism was just a lie, and that it was time to shut down.

…Right after this last chat. Perhaps it would be a lucky one, perhaps he would finally find a potential friend.

You are now speaking to 'arachnidsGrip'!

  
AT: uHH, hI.  
AG: Hiiiiiiii, adiosToreador!!!!!!!!  
AT: uHH, hI.  
AG: You just said that, dum8ass.

You have dumped arachnidsGrip! :33

It was the first time he’d given up that night.

He was going to die alone.

* * *

 

The next two days went by as quick as molasses. The crowds seemed to be getting thicker and thicker, and the whispers of ‘Gamzee Makara’ taunted him aloud and in his mind. Hopefully everything was a dream… he missed Gamzee dearly.

He kept trying to contact him, but he would never answer his phone or his pesterchum, and the last thing he’d sent him was 'I lOvE yOu LiKe ThE dEsOlAtE wAvE lOvEs ThE sHoRe, TaVbRo' and Tavros would sit alone and cry for hours.

Gamzee had drugs in his locker, they’d said, he’d broken the rules and they evicted him quietly, but no one cared that he was gone, they were only yearning for the answer to fill their thirst for confirmation, they didn’t know him, no one knew him except for him and Karkat, and Karkat wouldn’t answer him anything except for, “FUCK OFF, DICKMUNCH!”

Aradia saw his tears. He was just another insignificant blip under her skim.

He was still crying when he got home. He used his fringe to hide his glistening profile, and when he reached his room he threw his bag aside and curled up in the corner of the room.

He hadn’t cried before because, to be honest, he had believed that Gamzee would be coming back, that he’d burst through the school gates the next morning yelling, “I’m back, motherfuckers!” But he didn’t. Tavros should have stopped believing years ago.

It was an apprehensive reach and an apprehensive press. The keys were typed in a slow beat to a depressing anthem, right down to the last ‘ath’, and the return button was pressed, and silence followed after.

You are now speaking to 'terminallyCapricious'!

What. WHAT. **WHAT.**

AT: gAMZEE,  
AT: gAMZEE, iS THAT YOU?! 

terminallyCapricious has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

He was in his grasp, and the clown slipped away. He just fucking vanished like he did in real life.

Tav wasn’t even sure if it was really him, but he’d caught a glimpse of Gamzee Makara and wasn’t going to let go. The refresh button was a punching bag.

You are now speaking to 'arachnidsGrip'!

Not this bitch.

AT: bYE.  
AG: No, w8!!!!!!!!  
AG: Listen, I'm sorry for coming off as a complete 8itch a few days ago. I'm a fucking idiot sometimes.  
AG: 8ut you were kinda asking for it.  
AT: bYE.  
AG: W8, shit, sorry.  
AG: Let's just start over.  
AG: Hiiiiiiii. ::::)

There was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind; ‘Gamzee, Gamzee’ was its mantra, its anthem, its song, with the occasional input of ‘Aradia’ and ‘friends’, but at the same time he knew that Gamzee just didn’t want to talk to him anymore, neither did Aradia, and he’d seen it earlier, he’d seen the proof, he’d seen the disconnection, and he didn’t have to force himself on him anymore. His cursor hovered over the disconnect button, but it was slowly retrieving its shadow, yet slowly returning again…

Tavros, it’s time to move on. You have to _fly_.

AT: hI.  
AT: :)  
AG: Looks like someone's a little more chipper!  
AG: That's the spirit.  
AG: So, Toreador, are you going to tell me your name? :::;)  
AT: bUT ISN'T THAT AGAINST THE RULES  
AG: Rules are 8oredy 8ore 8oring. They're only there to meddle.  
AT: i THINK THAT, uHH, rULES ARE IMPORTANT,  
AT: aND THE CREATOR OF THIS SITE, iS ONE OF MY CLASSMATES,  
AT: sO NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES WOULD BE, uH, SOME SORT OF BETRAYAL,  
AT: bUT THAT'S JUST MY OPINION.  
AG: 8ooooooooring!  
AG: And what kind of a lowlife creates a site like this anyway?  
AT: i THINK THAT SHE'S COOL,  
AT: aND WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SITE IF IT'S SO BAD ANYWAY?  
AG: I'm here for pure ironic purposes. And also to look for possi8le people to 8e in cahoots with.  
AG: CAHOOTS!  
AG: Can't a girl have her fun?  
AT: wELL, i'D RATHER NOT GET INTO A FIGHT WITH YOU, sO OKAY,  
AG: Hey, 8uddy, no offense, 8ut........  
AG: What's with the typing? Did you hit your key8oard over your head or something?  
AT: nO,  
AT: mY COMPUTER IS JUST OLD,  
AG: Haha, whaaaaaaaatever.  
AT: wHAT ABOUT YOU?  
AT: yOU HAVE, uM, A LOT OF EIGHTS, aND STUFF,  
AT: wHAT'S UP WITH THAT.  
AG: 8efore I used to do it 8ecause my 'top was 8roken, 8ut now I do it 8ecause eight is the 8est number!!!!!!!!  
AT: oH, OKAY,  
AT: sO, uH, hOW ARE YOU, aRACHNIDSgRIP?  
AG: It's Vriska, and I'm fine.  
AG: 8een through a lot of 8ullshit from Terezi, the meddler.  
AT: wHO'S TEREZI?  
AG: Just some 8lind chick who 8n't worth a damn.  
AT: dO YOU WANT TO, uH, tALK ABOUT IT?  
AG: I don't want to talk about it.  
AT: oH, OKAY.  
AT: jUST KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, vRISKA,  
AT: :)  
AG: ........Thanks, I guess.  
AG: Well, I'm gonna get going. I've got so many irons in the fire right now.  
AT: wAIT,  
AG: What?  
AT: dO YOU HAVE PESTERCHUM?  
AG: Yeah, but 8n't nothing else.  
AT: cOULD i GET YOUR CHUMHANDLE?  
AG: Same one as here. You?  
AT: sAME,  
AG: Well then.  
AG: I will talk to you later, my mysterious Toreador.  
AG: <3 :::;)

arachnidsGrip has dumped you! There's still hope! :33

He had never been so confused in his entire life. His lullaby sob brought him to sleep.

* * *

 

“So, what do you think about my site?”

The day had been as tiring as ever, but a new light had helped Tavros keep optimistic even as he got pushed around by the still muttering, yet excruciatingly slowly diminishing, crowd; Vriska and her excessive eights.

The whispers of names were diminishing and being replaced with new fads (which ambivalently enraged and relieved Tavros) and he barely saw the face of the student body president, and, for once, somebody wanted to talk to him, as obnoxious as that person may be.

And he had the ever determined matchmaker Leijon to thank for it.

Nepeta wore a shirt covered in buttons featuring various anime characters and had a Problem Sleuth themed backpack on her and a grin like a grand piano, and her question was said with so much pep that Tavros had to twist most of the truth to keep her cheerful gauge on high.

“It’s great,” Tavros gushed, “You’ve really outdone yourself. I mean, uh, the layout and everything! How did you do it?”

She blushed pretty hard. “Oh stop it, you! Equius asked Sollux —you know, Captor?— to help us out, he’s absolutely purrrrfect when it comes to these kinds of things! I swear, he would work at google!”

“Tell him he’s great, then, and to give himself a, uhh, back on the pat.”

“Pat on the back.”

“Riiight.”

“So, did you meet someone speeeeecial?” She gave him such a big nudge that he nearly mistook it for a push.

“Well…” He couldn’t help but embody Nepeta as a confession bear. “I did make a new, uh, friend…”

“Ooh, tell me about her!”

Hesitance. “Uh, her chathandle is arachnidsGrip and—“

“Oh-em-geeeee!” She squealed like a little girl getting a new doll to play with, except a lot more morbid and like she’s going to cut it in half. “So you’re adiosToreador?!”

He jumped a little. “Yea— how what—“

“I was on purrtrol yesterday because Equius got tired of complaints, but I was a lot more subtle. I saw your whole conversation!” A high frequent giggle, an ambivalent disbelief. “You guys are purrity cute! But I’m pawsitive that you and Kanaya would make the best ship!” She points to the subject six feet behind her, who turns at her name but quickly pretends that nothing happened.

“Uhh, I’m not sure how to, uh, react to that.” Him and Vriska? Was this chick serious?

“Tell me if you have any luck okay?”

Luck? With her? He didn’t even understand.

“Sure.”

* * *

 

arachnidsGrip [AG] started pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 20:21  
AG: Heeeeeeeeey. ::::)  
AT: uH, hI.  
AG: Do you still go to purrfectmewtches?  
AT: yEAH, sOMETIMES.  
AG: Why? It's pretty dum8.  
AG: Dum8y dum8 dum8est.  
AT: nOT REALLY,  
AT: wITHOUT IT, wE WOULDN'T HAVE MET.

He did still visit the site, not only because of Nepeta’s utter joy that he appreciated it, but he was still searching for his lost, stoned friend, just for answers, for his well-earned confirmation. But there wasn’t a glimpse of TC, and much more than glimpses of CA, TG, CT, TT, and the occasional AC, as well as a variety of other acronyms; he was dumped by all of them. He hadn’t fully let go, he hadn’t full flown, but he was quite contented with Vriska, so his inevitable mission failure was not that depressing.

AG: So are you going to tell me your name yet, Toreador?  
AT: nO, nOT YET, yOU COULD BE SOME SORT OF, uH, cREEPER.  
AG: ::::O I 8m offended!  
AG: Are you s8ying that you don't trust me????????  
AT: nO, nOT REALLY,  
AT: i THINK MOST CREEPERS DON'T USE THAT MANY EIGHTS.  
AG: My 8s are awesome and you are 8l8tantly jealous.  
AG: 8esides, it's 8etter than your migrane-inducing inverted caps.  
AT: :( oKAY,  
AG: 8ut I digress. What are you doing right now?  
AT: uHH, tALKING TO YOU, fOR ONE THING,  
AT: aND LOOKING FOR gAMZEE, i GUESS.  
AG: Who's Gamzee?  
AG: Is he your 8oyfriend? ::::))  
AT: uH, nO,  
AT: hE USED TO BE ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS, tHEN HE WENT MISSING.  
AG: Awww, that's too 8ad.  
AG: At least you have me now, right?  
AT: yEAH, tHAT'S TRUE,  
AT: bUT i MISS HIM A LOT,  
AT: i SORT OF, uH, cRIED ABOUT IT, a FEW DAYS BACK,  
AG: What? You cry?  
AG: You are a guy, right????????  
AT: yEAH, i AM.  
AG: Phew!  
AG: Nearly thought I was crushing on a girl there!  
AT: wAIT,  
AT: wHAT,  
AG: Nothing!!!!!!!!  
AG: See you around, AT!

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 20:40

He was blushing harder than Leijon.

-

Tav’s smile was surprisingly bright for someone who’d just failed a Geometry test, but with an iPhone in hand, a pesterchum application blinking, and a screen covered in blue and brown text, his joy was understandable.

AG: I'm in class. Teach is discussing something booooooooring!  
AG: Terezi's answering again, the teacher's pet. She pro8a8ly got honors for kissing ass.  
AG: Can you 8elieve that she thinks I'm a 8ad influence?!?!?!?! The nerve of her!  
AG: We used to 8e Scourge Sisters! SISTERS!  
AT: sCOURGE sISTERS? yOU TWO ARE, uHH, rELATED?  
AG: Nah, it was just a nickn8me for when we used to gallivanting around like the 8oisterous children we were.  
AT: tHAT, uH, sOUNDS A LOT LIKE, uMM,  
AT: mE AND aRADIA,  
AT: aRADIA AND i,  
AT: yEAH.  
AG: Who's Aradia?  
AT: aN OLD FRIEND,  
AT: sHE'S, uHH, sCHOOL PRESIDENT NOW,  
AG: Ohh. So I 8et she's a total 8ore, huh? Yawn.  
AT: nOT, rEALLY,  
AT: wE DON'T REALLY, uH, tALK ANYMORE, tHOUGH.  
AG: You and I 8oth, Toreador.  
AT: wH|

Karkat had pulled him over before he could press return. He hastily stuffed his phone into his pocket and his eyes widened in fear. He never thought that a 5”2 kid in a turtleneck could be so intimidating.

Karkat glared daggers up and snorted a little, grimacing as much as usual. Taupe locks drape like curtains, amber irises burn like coal.

“Listen, dickmunch.” Wow, he was just the sweetest, most innocent thing.

“Hello.”

“Shut the fuck up. Gamzee told me to tell you this, and I don’t fucking know why, because he’s probably going to be buttock deep in utter bullshit for it, but I don’t fucking care what he does anymore.”

“You’ve been in contact with Gamzee?”

“Yeah, but that’s none of your goddamn business. He said he saw you on Nep’s site, and you started babbling his name like it was your last pathetic prayer.”

“So— he— he saw me too.” Rage, anger, ambivalence, reminiscing tears—

“He didn’t mean to ‘dump’ you back there, whatever the fuck that means. He just wants you to know that he’s alright, that he… ‘loves you like the wave shores the desolate love’ or something.”

“Like the desolate wave loves the shore.” A barely audible whisper, lacking in decibel, near silence. Vantas can’t hear the thing.

“And that he misses you a lot, and he’s going to try and get back to us no matter what the fucking school board says. Just don’t tell anyone I’m talking to him, alright? Or I will find a fucking knife so sharp that my eyeballs will bleed when I see it and shove it up your—“

“Okay, I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Fucking great. Bye now.” He stormed away, fists clenched, back hunched, as usual.

“Wait, Karkat!”

“What the fuck is it?”

“…Thanks.”

“…No problem.” Man, did Vantas blush hard.

AG: Tavros???????? 8re you ignoring me????????  
AT: sORRY, i WAS TALKING TO, uH, a FRIEND.  
AT: uH, hE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.  
AG: Ooh! What a8out?  
AT: i DON'T THINK THAT i'M SUPPOSED TO, uH, tELL YOU.  
AG: Aww. ::::( 8ut I tell you almost everything!  
AT: wELL, i WON'T NAME NAMES, bUT,  
AT: hE TOLD ME A FRIEND i HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE MISSES ME,  
AT: aND IT'S REALLY COMFORTING.  
AG: So you're gay.  
AT: wHAT, nO,  
AG: Pheeeeeeeew! That's a relief!  
AG: Shit, teach caught me. I'm gonna go undercover. 8ye! 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 16:20

Sometimes he worried about her a biiiiiiiit too much.

Wait, were those eight i’s?

* * *

 

It had been about two weeks since his first encounter with a certain AG. More empty instant noodle cups lay scattered upon the floor, for he practically lived on them, and his blanket was even untouched. He’d spent so much time talking to her that his eyes were seeing blue and brown everywhere.

She was still very obnoxious, still very loud, still very assertive, but he enjoyed her company, mostly because, on the inside, he knew that she really cared and she was just afraid to talk about it— either that or he was way into his head.

He sat alone in his room, awaiting her presence, until he got the notification that she was online, but—

\--rancorous. Not a good sign.

He double-clicked her name anyway.

adiosToreador [AT] started pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] at 22:16  
AT: hEY...  
AT: wHAT'S WRONG?  
AG: Leave me alone! I don't w8nt to t8lk!!!!!!!! 

She was really, really upset; he could tell. He wasn’t just going to leave her alone, she needed some help or she was probably going to break something.

AT: i WON'T,  
AT: yOU NEED HELP,  
AT: yOU SEEM REALLY UPSET,  
AG: I don't need your fucking help!!!!!!!! I'm perfectly fine!  
AT: nO, yOU'RE NOT,  
AT: yOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, jUST CALM DOWN FIRST...  
AG: I'm never going to ever calm down!  
AG: You don't know what I'm feeling like right now! You don't know a8out anything!  
AT: jUST CALM DOWN, i KNOW WHAT i'M DOING.  
AG: No you don't!!!!!!!!  
AT: oKAY, i DON'T.  
AT: jUST, uH, bREATHE IN AND OUT AND GET THIS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.  
AG: Okay, 8ut it's pro8a8ly not going to do 8nything!  
AG: ........  
AG: It didn't work.  
AT: dON'T LIE.  
AG: Okay, it did, jeez. 8ut that 8reathing in and out thing is tacky.  
AG: Tacky tack tackiest.  
AT: dON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, wHAT'S GOING ON?  
AG: Ugh...  
AG: Terezi is a piece of fucking shit, okay?  
AG: That's all there really is to s8y on the matter.  
AG: She's 8een telling things a8out me to Principal Scratch and I might get expelled from the only chance of redemption I have right now.  
AT: wHAT, rEALLY?  
AR: sO YOU'RE UPSET BECAUSE YOU MIGHT, uH, GET EXPELLED...  
AG: Not really........  
AG: I just feel like... I'm losing all my friends.  
AG: Like how my ex Eridan moved aw8y, 8ut he's not much of a friend 8ecause he's a total douche.  
AG: And how my friend John got mad at me for hurting his friend Jade, even though I didn't do anything, and she was totally asking for it.  
AG: And how Terezi is 8eing a goddamn traitor and she's o8viously a8andoned me.  
AG: It's stupid, I know.  
AG: How I'm so upset over this, how I only have like three friends.  
AT: nO, iT'S NOT,  
AT: iT'S REALLY NOT, bECAUSE,  
AT: tHAT'S HOW i FEEL TOO SOMETIMES,  
AT: nOT EVEN SOMETIMES, iT'S LIKE MOST OF THE TIME,  
AT: i ONLY HAVE YOU RIGHT NOW,  
AT: bUT THE FRIEND i TOLD YOU ABOUT,  
AT: i THOUGHT i LOST HIM,  
AT: bUT i DIDN'T, aND HE'S STILL TRYING TO GET BACK TO ME,  
AT: i WAS JUST BEING, uH, pARANOID.  
AT: yOU NEED TO HAVE SOME FAITH.  
AT: jUST, uH, tRUST ME. :)  
AG: 8ut you haven't even told me your name.  
AT: iS THAT WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO OPEN UP TO ME?  
AG: Why open up to someone who's like a locked chest full of treasure to you?  
AT: i'M SORRY,  
AT: i'M JUST...  
AT: i'M tAVROS, mY NAME IS tAVROS. i FEEL TERRIBLE NOW.  
AG: Well...  
AG: It's nice to finally fucking meet you, Tavros.  
AG: You're so perfect it was infuri8ing not to know your name.  
AT: i'M GLAD TO BE, uH, oF HELP THEN. :)  
AG: See you l8er, then, Tavros. :::;)  
AT: hEY, wAIT, 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 22:44

His sigh was the most audible thing that had ever hit his bedroom walls. It echoed off the ceiling and lulled him to sleep.

It was a better sound to hear than his own sobbing.

* * *

 

Tavros opened his eyes to a fist full of sunshine.

The duvet was thrown back, nearly touching the floor, and Tav rubbed his lids like a toddler awake forced to wake at midnight before they fluttered open and adjusted to the light. His hair was as matted and standing on its own, and some of it was plastered to his face, but he left it like so as he forced himself to get ready for school.

It was the usual line up of tasks— take a shower, get dressed, neat up, and politely refuse a large breakfast from mother. As he checked his phone on the walk to Skaia, he glanced at the date and let out a long, tired sigh.

So it was _that_ day.

And, as he entered the campus, he saw that the student body took the holiday more seriously than they did the previous year, which was saying something.

Pink, red, white balloons ascended into the sky. De-thorned roses were flung, chocolates were exchanged, screams ensued; Tavros was sure Nepeta was part of _that_ crowd. It was a fest for flourishing couples, a shipper’s treat, and one of the most isolated days for yours truly.

He swore he could see Aradia and Equius making out in the corner of his eye.

The rest of the day was just as pleasant, as he stood in the corner as loudly smooching couples pushed others around, and he had tried to talk to Karkat (who also seemed very lonely although Nepeta was staring at him like Christmas had come early) but he just pushed him away and hissed some very creative insults— A+ to him!

The walk home was relieving, but tiring. He didn’t really have much to do, and it seemed like a normal day except for the fact that a certain fact still lingered in his mind.

He had been talking to his crush for about two months now, and they still hadn’t had a date. Not that he expected them to go out, and not that he expected her to like him, but a date would be nice.

Seeing her face would be nice.

As if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket and he answered the call. Blue text on p-chum entitled AG. That was his 8a8y.

arachnidsGrip [AG] started pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 16:12  
AG: What's uuuuuuuup? ::::)  
AG: Has Valentine's day 8een 8oring or what?  
AT: i CAN, dEFINITELY, aGREE,  
AT: bEING FORCED TO WATCH COUPLES MAKE OUT MAKES ME FEEL SORT OF, uH, pERVERTED.  
AG: You silly 8oy!  
AG: I did trip up Meenah Peixes when she was trying to kiss her 8oyfriend, man, did she 8lush haaaaaaaard!  
AT: wOW,  
AT: dID SHE GET MAD AT YOU FOR IT?  
AG: Hell yeah! 8ut it was worth it!  
AG: She didn't even do much anyway, she and her team of 8ar8ied-up ghetto queens just stared me down for a while.  
AG: Damn, I would've loved a good fight.  
AT: cAN YOU TRY NOT TO, uH, gET INTO FIGHTS, fOR ME...?  
AG: Why not????????  
AT: yOU MIGHT, uH, gET HURT,  
AG: I can t8ke care of myself, Tav! ::::/  
AT: i'M, uH, sORRY,  
AG: It's fiiiiiiiine.  
AG: Have you noticed that it's 8een a month since we first talked and I haven't seen your goddamn f8ce yet?  
AT: yEAH, i NOTICED.  
AG: We should fix that. You've always 8een 8usy with school or whatever.  
AG: I'm pretty sure you just don't want to see me.

He did want to see her— he wanted to see her so badly that his heart hurt a little because of it. But if he saw his face, his sad, pathetic, unloved face, then she would probably scram, and he’d be alone, his love guts barren and withered.

But he couldn’t tell her that. He just had to keep making stuff up to distract her, but there was no escape, there was no backing out now, and he had to go through with it or he’d never have a chance.

It was Valentine’s Day for god’s sake.

AT: nO, i DO, i JUST...  
AG: What? Your elipses 8other me a lot.  
AT: i HAD A BROKEN WEBCAM, bUT IT'S FIXED NOW... yEAH,  
AG: Gr8!!!!!!!! I've got a lot of irons in the fire right now, 8ut I can definitely spare an hour or so for you.  
AT: tHAT'S AWESOME,  
AT: i'LL MEET YOU ON MY LAPTOP L8ER.  
AT: *lATER,  
AG: Hehehehehehehehe. :::;) 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] at 16:30

He turned off his phone and bounded for his room. It was an excitement, a rush, a drive, he sprinted like he never sprinted before, and he wasn’t that good a runner either, but he switched on his computer, nearly hit it for its long-drawl of a whirr, and turned on pesterchum straight away, to find Vriska still online and waiting.

arachnidsGrip [AG] is trying to video call you!

  
Accept? Decline?

A hesitant acceptance, a beautiful reward.

Picture this; a head of beautiful blonde locks that cascade like a waterfall, over a pointy, sculptured nose and thin, snide lips painted cobalt and smiling in the subtlest way, hidden ears, perfect teeth, and eyes of a quiet azure.

Was she talking to him?

Did she have a crush on _him_?

“Hi.” Her voice was so sharp, so easily puncturing, yet so addictive at the first contact that Tavros just waited to hear more.

“H-Hi, uh, hi,” is all he could say.

“Daaaaaaaamn, what’s cooking, good looking?” She clicked her tongue and smiled, showing off her pearly whites again, and Tavros nearly swooned then and there. The red at her cheeks (was that blush or was he imagining?) became stronger and she diverted her eyes for a second.

“So, it’s nice to, uh, finally, uhh, meet you!” His shrug was pathetic, this was pathetic, it was a bad idea in the first place.

“You too. Two lonely grubs on Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“…Yep. Did you, uh, touch yourself up for that reason? Valentine’s Day?”

“No, but I’m just that hot, aren’t I?” A chuckle. It was so _sexy_ , oh heavens above.

And, so, they talked about stupid things, the usual stupid things, the everyday stupid things, but she kept peering at him as if something was different, and it was bothering him for the slightest moment until--

“Tav, are you blushing?”

Was he that obvious?

“Y-y— no, I mean, not that, uh, yes— no, yes—“

“Stop that. Tell the goddamn truth.”

“Ye—ye—no—yes—“

“Let’s just put this on the table where we can see it, Tavros. Do you like me?”

Crap, how did she know, how did she know, was he being too forward, was his face that red, was it so rouge that it showed on hers too? Thumbs twiddle, lips bite, and the answer stumbles out lost and out in the open.

“Y-yes. Yeah, yes, yes, for the longest time now.”

“So is this a date?” The articulation on the last word, the straightforwardness…

“Date?”

“Yeah, you dumbnut, do you think I don’t have a stupid, silly, childish crush on you too?”

No words, just the urge to press his lips to the monitor.

“Yeah, then. It’s an online date, I guess, the first.”

“Then, my Toreador… tell me what we’re going to do on this fine Valentine’s Day.”

He was going to turn his hyperventilation into a lulling serenade.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I edited some of the character quirks for the reason of keeping it realistic.


End file.
